Cure For Pain
Cure For Pain
Chapter 5 Reflection
EPOV
The fast paced advancement of technology these days makes life so much easier for everyone. Be it in medicine, communications or even crime solving, you read every day about the new advances in technology. Nowhere else is technology more embraced than in the gang world. When you think of computer geeks, guys covered in tats, wearing saggy pants and sparkly bling is not what comes to mind. They may not be the ones to create it but they are the ones that push the limits of it. My favorite advancement in technology has to be the ability to access the internet from my cell phone.
Oh, I had texting back before I went to jail. I used it too, but that still left a trail. Cell phone records are easily traced and the first thing any law enforcement agent would look for. Email would be next. The thing with email is it needs to be sent and then opened with a subpoena to be traced. If that email is never actually sent and the draft is changed within a short span of time then there is a slim to none chance that it’s ever going to be read. At least that’s what I had been banking on for the past two years.
After Randall pulled away I took a few minutes with my phone and contacted my deliveries. I had separate gmail accounts and passwords set up with each of my five contacts. There was never any mail sent to or from the accounts. When I had something for them I wrote it in a draft. By prearrangement they checked that account at least twice a day. If there was a draft there they erased what I had and left me a location. I in turn deleted that and left a time. We had a set price per ounce and as long as that didn’t change we never even had to discuss money. It’s worked beautifully so far.
I doubted I would hear back from any of them before I went to work but sometimes they surprised me. It was still a few hours before I needed to be in to Dee’s so I was looking forward to an afternoon to myself. I hated delivering pizzas but I did like working at Dee’s. Dee’s wasn’t even owned by Dee. It hadn’t been owned by someone named Dee for years. Sue and Harry Clearwater had owned it for as long as I could remember. I’ve heard they weren’t even the first to own it after Dee. Sue once told me that it had been Dee’s for so long that even though the first owner after Dee tried to change the name everyone still referred to it as that. So it was switched back to Dee’s and has stayed that way ever since.
The Clearwaters were good people. My mom and I had been a frequent customers at Dee’s and after I was out I had trouble finding a job. No one was real interested in giving a job to a recent parolee. The Clearwaters took a chance on me. I hated that I was using them as a cover. Yes, I occasionally made sales while I was delivering but I never moved anything major while I was on the job. I learned from my arrest never to carry more than what could be termed as intent to use versus intent to sell. Now unless I had specific arrangements to sell more than twenty bags I didn’t worry about carrying more than that. Twenty bags was more than enough to get me through times when I might be asked on the fly for some.
I checked my gmail once I was home and was surprised to see that I had drafts from three of the five. I checked the time to figure out my time table on how long it would take me to meet up with everyone and stash my money. The Volturi were always the easiest of the group. They were the most organized. I set up theirs first. After that I had the East End Boyz. I preferred to deal with the second in command, B-Boy, when it came to them. He was laid back and easy going where as Amun, the leader tended to be uptight and I was never really sure if he wouldn’t just up and shoot my ass some day. The Volturi and EEB were on the other side of the city so I could hide my money between delivering to them and meeting with J.
After writing the times for each of them I took stock of my cut of the shipment. Randall had it in a simple glassine bag. It was larger then the ones I repackaged my own in. I packaged mine in small white bags I had stamped with a chess piece. Stamps were like a logo or a brand name. Most of us who dealt had their own mark. At one time I used an apple thinking of it as the forbidden fruit. It was dangled in front of me and I took it leading me into this life of sin. After I did my time I switched my stamp over to the chess piece, specifically the white queen. In my mind it was an apt symbol not only for the contents of the bag but also for my new take on life. Getting out of this life could be done but just as in chess it would be a lot harder without the queen in play for as long as possible.
I didn’t have time to weigh out and repackage right now so I just slipped it between the pages of A Game of Thrones. I still had enough to take with me tonight that I didn’t have to worry about pulling out the scale and dividing it up. It didn’t really take that long to do since I never cut my heroin with anything. I figured it had been cut enough before I got it. I just had to much to do before my shift started.
After placing the book back on the shelf I went into my bedroom and grabbed three beat up gym bags with old t-shirts in them. It was used in almost every crime movie and TV cop show but really hiding your money in lockers at the bus station really is an effective place to keep it. I didn’t just keep it all in one locker either. I used several, some were just decoys in case anyone was watching. I also moved around what I did have frequently. I bought the bags at Goodwill and had almost a dozen of them used for that purpose. I stuffed my take from the Volturi in two of them after I took out a little to get me through the next couple weeks. I wasn’t extravagant in my life style but having a little extra cash on hand never hurt either.
I stopped in my little kitchen and took a Coke out of the fridge. There wasn’t much in there other than some left over Chinese food that was way past edible and a few other take out boxes. I needed to get some groceries so I added that to my list of things to do after work. I rarely cooked for myself but I tried to keep somethings around to eat.
I took the cap off my Coke and took a big drink before looking around the counter top for a pack of smokes. Once I had those I headed to the door, stopping to grab my gun off the table next to it. Randall had given me an old 9mm Smith & Wesson not long after I started working for him.
The day he gave it to me I told him I didn’t want to carry a weapon. My mom had always been very adamant that I never play with guns. It was just one of those things that stuck with me. Yeah, I may have been a little hypocritical but she never specifically said “don’t deal heroin” so I didn’t exactly feel like I was crossing the line there, but gun ownership was another thing completely.
Then there was just the sheer responsibility of carrying one. Just owning one gave me the possibility of life or death over another human being. When I sold heroin the user was directly responsible for using it, I was just a means to get it. If they OD’d it was their own fault. I looked at the beat up black grip and saw myself in the shiny black barrel. Pointing a gun at someone and pulling the trigger made it my fault. I wasn’t sure I could do that. The quote “with great power comes great responsibility” echoed through my head.
I tried to refuse it but Randall told me “kid, never underestimate what could happen. You may never have to use the thing but as long as you look confident holding it people will take you seriously.”
Even though I hated it I knew he was right. I lived in a world where things were often settled with who had the faster weapon and sometimes even by death. Eventually I learned how to put the safety on and off and how to load it but that was about it. I never had to shoot the thing, not even sure I could if I did run into that situation. So far just the sight of it tucked into my waist band had been enough to let people know I was packin’.
I wasn’t afraid to use my fists though and I had to on more than one occasion. My fists were easier to use and less likely to lead to a murder charge. I learned at a young age just how effective a few well placed punchs could be. Being white in a racially mixed environment I was in the minority. Add to that I was smart and actually liked to study and go to school. The bulling started early in elementary. Mom firmly believed that to get a bully to back off one needed to stand up for themselves. So that’s what I did. I took a few ass kickings in the earl days but I learned from my mistakes. Soon I was the one handing out the beatings. Kids quickly learned to leave me alone.
My reputation for quick lethal fists preceded me into high school. There I rarely ever had to use them. Only when it came to Tonya did I ever have to fight someone. That girl was constantly getting me into some scuffle. At least it kept me in practice for prison. There being able to take care of one’s self was mandatory. It didn’t hurt that I had the Volturi looking out for me too.
Before I went to jail I rarely carried the gun, now I barely thought twice when I grabbed my gun. It was just like any other item I carried with me; cell phone, lighter, smokes, packets of heroin, 9mm, it was just another thing to remember as I headed out the door.
I looked forward to meeting up with the Volturi. Randall never told me who we worked for. We worked on a need to know basis. The higher up the chain of command the fewer the people who knew you the better. I had always suspected it was the Volturi. Everyone answered to the Volturi. They were mainly run out of prison now but they had deep ties to the mafia and other crime organizations all around the nation and world. If you were in a gang and didn’t cooperate with the Volturi your gang didn’t last long. Everyone paid there dues to the Volturi and tried to stay off their radar. Early on that’s why I figured it was them, that and they always got the biggest cut and never paid for it.
When I went to prison I was positive it was the Volturi. Aro was the man in charge in the State facility I was in and that didn’t mean he was the warden. He was one of the higher ups in the Volturi. They separated him from Caius after some big uprising. The third head, Marcus, was still out on the streets. I never directly spoke with Aro but I knew he was essentially my guardian angle the two years I was there.
Prison was no easy place to be. It was rampant with rival gangs and the violence that comes when alpha males are all locked in the same cage. Prison was just a breeding ground for hate and violence that spilled over into the streets when people were released. Nowhere else would you find white supremacists sharing meals in the same location as blacks or Hispanics. Of course they were at separate tables but they were still in the same space and the tension that caused was always present.
Not long after I was in I was approached by one of the white supremacist groups to join with them. I kindly declined without saying “piss off” like I wanted to. Eagle, the guy who spoke to me laughed at me saying I would come crawling back to them after some big “nigger” raped my fine white ass. I tried to not let my fear show as I walked away from him. It never came to that though. I got into a few skirmishes, nothing severe, but people just left me alone. I knew better to think that it was because I was a tough guy. I had someone powerful looking out for me and there was no one more powerful than Aro.
That fact alone made me feel indebted to the Volturi. What made me look forward to meeting up with them was an entirely different thing. Heidi. That little minx left me with blue balls on more occasions than I cared to think about. I always met up with Heidi and Jane. I had assumed that was their role in the Volturi, picking up drugs. I never met up with anyone else in all the years I had delivered to them.
Heidi was a walking wet dream and she knew it. I enjoyed our flirting sessions. I never would take her up on the offers she put out there. Not saying I wouldn’t like too. I just learned my lesson on getting involved with anyone I did business with. Heidi’s partner Jane was a different story. That girl could strike fear into even the most hardened bastard. Jane was all business and her glares had the effects of a cold shower after Heidi’s teasing. Yet I still looked forward to my dealings with them.
I drove to our agreed on rendezvous point, a Wal-mart parking lot. Brilliant. No one would suspect anything here. Strange people were always at Wal-mart. I parked toward the end of the lot. The girls knew my car and would come look for me. It wasn’t long before they pulled up in their shiny black SUV. I could see Jane scowling at me from the front seat. Her little face was scrunched up like she was taking it up the ass. I just grinned at her and winked. I watched as Heidi made her way from the drivers seat over to my passenger side. She moved gracefully in tight jeans and high heeled boots, ass swaying all the way. She slid in beside me and smiled.
“So handsome what do you have for me today?” She reached over and ruffled my hair.
“Heidi, my girl, let me take you back to my place and I’ll show you what I have for you.” I grinned at her with an arch to my brow.
She giggled playfully, “Just let me ditch the stick and I’ll go where ever you want.” She purred it to me as she motioned towards Jane sitting in the SUV trying to act like she wasn’t sitting in a Wal-mart parking lot. She let her hand rest on my thigh giving it a little squeeze.
I smiled back at her taking in the big blond hair and overly done makeup. Yeah, she may have been built like a Victoria Secret model but she just wasn’t what I wanted. A quick flash of a dark angel came to mind and I shook my head to rid myself of the image. I motioned to the bag at Heidi’s feet. After seeing their return gmail I transferred the box of cereal Randall had their cut packed in to a Wal-mart bag. It never hurt to be prepared for whatever location awaited me.
“Heidi my love you are welcome anytime.” I gave her what I hoped was a sexy grin.
She just smiled at me. “Oh, Edward someday I’m going to take you up on that.” She reached for the bag and paused before she opened the door. She turned to me with a serious expression. “Edward, you need to get out of this life. You’re far too good for this. It breaks my heart to see you doing this.” She stroked my cheek softly with a sad smile before she turned to open the door and was gone.
I didn’t even watch her perfect ass in the painted on jeans walk away from me. Instead I thought about her words. I didn’t want this life. I wanted freedom. I wanted to know when I woke up in the morning I wouldn’t have to make decisions that could possible mean the end of my life. I wanted the boring, mondane life that so many complained about. I just needed to find a way to make that happen.
I pulled out before Heidi was even back behind the wheel. I had two more meetings to take place and then a dull night of pizza delivering ahead of me.
I lucked out in the McDonald’s parking lot. B-Boy stood waiting with a happy meal in hand and the ever present grin on his face. I pulled up next to him and rolled my window down.
“Hey man. Got a little sumthin’ for ya.” He grinned at me and handed me the little card board box shaped like a house.
“This one have a Barbie or a little pony in it?” I asked him thinking back to the last couple times we met up like this. He thought it was hilarious to get me a happy meal with a little girl’s toy in it.
B-Boy smiled at me sheepishly. He looked so young with his close cropped black hair and dusky skin. He was wearing the classic banger apparel; dark hooded sweat shirt with baggy jeans and untied high tops.
“Guess you’ll just have to wait and see.” He said with a shrug.
I set the box on the seat next to me and reached for the box of Count Chocula. Not sure why Randall packed the East End Boyz cut in a Count Chocula box but he often did. Someday I would have to ask him. I gave the box to B-Boy and he thanked me before heading back to his own car.
I didn’t need to look in the happy meal box. I knew the money would be in there. From the smell of it there was a burger and fries in there as well. That was perfect cause I was suddenly starving. I reached in the box and the first thing I pulled out was a clear plastic package with some fucked up pink pad of paper with a little smiling doll in the corner of it. There was a pink pen in with it. I rolled my eyes at the cheap shit they put in these things and tossed it aside. I ate my meal on the way to the east side bus station. I needed to make my first deposit.
I parked two blocks away from the station and dropped a couple quarters into the meter. I wouldn’t be there that long but it never hurt to over pay. I grabbed a small thin canvas bag from the back and stuffed part of the money and the empty McDonald’s box into it. I locked up and whistled as I walked to the station.
I circled around it once, before I headed to a bank of lockers. I looked at the people wondering around some were there to switch buses, others were there to catch one and a few were waiting to be picked up. There was a old lady with a scarf over her head and boots on with a long skirt, knitting with her head down. A couple other people were sitting on the hard backed seats reading the newspaper. The younger sets with their ipods on were all glued to their phones, either texting or playing games. No one paid me any attention, choosing to be left alone in their own little world. This was one of the reasons bus stations were the perfect place to leave my cash. I was just another random scrub around here.
I traded the bag I was carrying for the one already in the locker. I knew it was empty. This would be my decoy one for my next stop. As I headed back to my car with my empty bag I mentally planned my route for my next cash drop off. I always varied my course between places. Once I was in my blue baby I lit another cigarette and turned up the radio to jam along with King Curtis and his Memphis Soul Stew. I checked my rear-veiw mirror as I pulled out and caught the reflection of a bitter man with wild bronze hair with dark sunglasses and a cigarette between his lips and I questioned just who that man was.
It was not the fifteen year old with plans for college and ambitions of a high paying job someday. It wasn’t the seventeen year old trying to impress the beautiful strawberry blond that had every guy drooling after her. The teen who threw away all his common sense just to get a hit of that pussy. It wasn’t the nineteen year old in his charcoal graduation suit standing in front of a judge being told his life for the next few years was going to take place in a state incarceration center. It wasn’t the scared youth in the orange jumpsuit who tried to hide his fear of being left to the mercy of those who really were in charge of the prison. It wasn’t the boy who grew into manhood surrounded by hardened criminals and regretful mistakes. It wasn’t the man who stood at his mother’s grave in that same ill fitting charcoal suit and decided that all he had ever wanted in life wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t the man who at twenty one stood on a street corner after being set free, only to realize he had nothing and nowhere to go. It wasn’t the man he wanted to be, yet it was the man he was and that had to change.
I made my next couple bag exchanges as I worked my way through the city. Then on to meet up with J. J. ran the very western side. It wasn’t exactly the affluent part of the city, more where the middle class and those who aspired to be upper middle class lived. The houses here were two stories with double garages and manicured lawns with swing sets in the fenced in back yards. This was not the area where you saw a different gang tag on each corner. The only colors you saw here were the ones of the local high school. This was a part of town where both parents worked hard to give their kids everything only to leave their kids alone with too much unsupervised time and too much money. This was the epitome of white suburban America.
J. was my only contact not involved in a gang. The gangs I supplied all knew about each other and had almost a gentleman’s agreement about not selling in the others’ area. J. was left alone because he didn’t sell in gang territory, he stuck to the suburbs. The problems that did arise came from the new crews coming up from Mexico bringing in black tar heroin. They had their own chain of command and their own way of dealing. When they tried pushing into gang territory they were taken out. I would have thought J. would have trouble because as far as I knew he didn’t have any backup. I guess the one thing he had going for him was that he kept it low key and he blended in with the neighborhood. Any one who didn’t fit into the suburban stereotype would be noticed and reported.
I stuck to the main street in the area. I passed all the normal things, a mall, a movie theater, a couple day spas, hotels, every fast food chain you could think of, a dozen different banks and just as many churches. Throw in a strip club and it could be called Seven Deadly Sin Street. I found the Caribou Coffee shop I was looking for and pulled in and parked next to a black BMW. I thought back to the prick with the coffee that morning and chuckled.
I walked in an ordered just a straight up black coffee. I looked around the room as I waited for it. School must have been out because the place was filled with teens. There was a group of girls looking at me and whispering behind their hands and giggling. The obvious leader of the group was a little blond that I had no doubt was a cheerleader and the prom queen. I got my cup and stepped in their direction. She smiled big at me and threw her shoulders back sticking out her chest as she tossed her long hair to the side. I saw her shoulders slump as I continued by and nodded towards the guy sitting in the corner watching the whole thing with an amused grin.
I walked back out to my car and opened the door. I reached down to the floor for the bag of “coffee” I had there.
“I can’t believe you just passed up that prime piece of teenage pussy back there.” The familiar voice taunted me.
“I prefer brunets.” I replied dryly. “And I’ve seen enough of the inside of a cell.” I turned and looked at the man standing next to me.
“Oh, man that little sweetness in there is worth it.” His fucking smug grin sickened me and I just wanted to get out of there then he added “And believe me I know.”
I just looked at the short, slimy man with disgust. I handed him the bag and he handed me one back. The first time I met J. I felt I should count out my money. I just always had the feeling that he would short change me. He never did. Randall reassured me that J. had been well informed on just what happened to those who tried to screw them over.
“Until next time” I said to him as I moved to get in my car.
“You’re such a straight ass, Edward. Don’t you ever do anything fun anymore? What about all those stories I heard about you?”
“That was a different man.” I answered without looking back at him. I saw his reflection move towards his beemer next to me before I pulled out.
There was always something about him that left me feeling dirty. I tried to keep my interactions with him as short as possible. I don’t know how Randall got hooked up with J. but I just didn’t trust him. I tried pushing thoughts of him to the back of my mind. I had one more cash drop off before work and I was now running late.
Thankfully it was only a short shift. I did enough running for the day, closing would have about killed me. I still had more to do, groceries to get bags to portion, yet I couldn’t stop myself from parking across the street from Safe Works and waiting to see who came out. I had driven past earlier in the evening and caught sight of a little yellow VW parked in the back next to Jasper’s old Civic under the street light. I wondered if my angel was there, and if so why. I couldn’t get her out of my head for the rest of the night.
Not even Jake’s bragging to Seth about his sister’s hot teacher could drag my mind away from the perfection I saw a few nights before. Jake was always in during the down time. I knew him from school, he was a couple years younger than me.
He was friends with Sue’s daughter Leah who sometimes filled in at Dee’s. Actually he was friends with her boyfriend but I didn’t think they were dating anymore since he had slept with Emily. Sometimes it was like living in a fucking soap opera working at that place. I tried not to get pulled into it but sometimes I couldn’t help it.
That night was one of those. Jake was hanging around cause he didn’t have anything better to do. He explained in great detail how he was “hot for teacher”. Like he would ever get any girl like that. Jake was nothing but a banger. It’s all he ever was and it was all he’d ever be. Even if he had a chance with the lady he would only drag her down with him or end up hurting her. Guys in gangs were dangerous. I didn’t say anything as I overheard him tell Seth about her “rocking body and sweet face.” He swore that he was going to get her to go out with him. I think he was just fooling himself.
After he left Seth followed me around like normal. That kid had some weird fascination with me. I didn’t understand it. Ever since I started working for the Clearwaters’ Seth took to me like a hero or shit. It started after I stepped in when he was getting jumped in the ally behind Dee’s by a rival gang. I put a stop to it and helped Seth out without ever saying a word to anyone about the incident.
Seth grew up surrounded with the Ozuye 6. His sister Leah dated the leader and was a member herself, yet he still wasn’t initiated. I think it was because Leah would kick his ass and anyone who attempted to initiated him into the gang. I knew Seth felt left out, but the kid was better for it. I think he felt some connection to me because I wasn’t gang affiliated either, whatever the reason he followed me around like a puppy.
Normally I joked around with the kid and spent some time with him after my shift playing some pool or darts. Not tonight. Tonight I wanted to see if she was there. It was just an urge I had. I wanted to see if it really was her back again. It was after ten. I knew someone would be leaving soon. I kept my eyes on the door waiting for her. I just knew she had to be there.
After my third cigarette the door finally opened. A tiny little thing stepped through with a scowl on her face and a quickness in her step. She was followed by Jasper who looked as if he were trying to apologize to the little lady but she wasn’t having any of it. I wondered what that was all about. Jasper was the nicest guy I had ever met. There wasn’t anyone that he couldn’t charm. They walked towards the little yellow car and my heart dropped. She wasn’t there. I was about to pull away when I saw her come out after them.
She was still bundled up in that white puffy jacket, this time she had a green cap pulled down over her head. Her long brown hair spilled out from under it and down her back. The dark against the white was striking. I watched her, completely transfixed on the way she glided to the car. She hesitated a few feet away as if she didn’t want to interrupt the couple in front of her. The other girl opened her door and called out to her and my angel went around and got in. I stayed where I was and kept my eye on the passenger side of that car as they backed out and pulled away. Without thinking about it I started to pull out to follow them but before I could I noticed Jasper standing by my car.
I rolled down my window to see what he wanted.
He looked quizzically at me. “Hey Edward. It’s been awhile.” He reached out his hand and we did the obligatory fist bump thing guys do instead of shaking.
“It has been Jazz. How are ya?”
He was still gazing at me skeptically. “Good. What’s up man?” Basically he was saying ‘what the fuck are you doing here?’
I shrugged I didn’t really have an answer.
“Tonya and Kate aren’t here tonight.”
I snorted. “I don’t care if I ever see either of those bitches again.” There was a bitter edge to my voice as that came out.
“Then what are you doing here? Do you need to come in for anything?”
I shook my head and looked forward seeing the tail-lights of the car as it turned away. I felt a let down that she was gone. I turned back to Jasper to answer him but he was frowning at me.
“Leave them alone.” His tone was harsh and final.
“Who?”
“You know damn well who Masen. Those are good girls and they don’t need to be mixed up in your shit.” He was right and I knew it, yet I still had to know more.
“Who are they?”
“Not that it’s any of your business but they’re new volunteers. They’re here to help. You need to stay away from them.”
“Look I wasn’t planning on anything I just wondered who they were that’s all.” I was starting to get defensive only because I knew he was right.
“Edward, I like you. I’ve always liked you. I know something’s up with you. I know you haven’t gone as straight as you pretend to be. I’m not going to say anything but you need to stay away from here. You need to stay away from Bella.” Bella. Bella. That must be my angel’s name. I don’t think Jasper even realized he gave me her name.
I could do nothing more than nod. I was afraid if I said anything more I would ask about Bella. We stared at each other for a few seconds longer before Jasper asked “are we good here, man?”
“Sure” I held out my hand for another fist bump letting him know I understood.
We both said a good bye and Jasper stayed in place as I pulled away. I saw him in my rear-view mirror watching me, making sure that I did leave.
I left that night but I came back. I told myself I wouldn’t but I did. I needed to see her. Seeing the beauty I would never have was like my own form of penance for the wrong I did. I had to see her. It became an addiction to me. I had tried lots of shit during my time with Tonya. I never really liked what the drugs did to me so it was easy for me not to become addicted. The damn cigarettes were the only things to have hooked me. Them and now Bella. Bella. Beautiful. Bella, there couldn’t be a more appropriate name for an angel. I couldn’t stop myself from checking for her every night. She wasn’t always there. I waited out of sight until they closed just to be sure.
The nights she wasn’t there I was left with a hollowness I didn’t understand. It wasn’t the empty feeling I had when I broke it off with Tonya or even the desolation I felt after my mother’s death. This was something different. It was as if a piece of me was missing and that was just ridiculous because I didn’t even know this girl. I knew nothing more than her name and that she was there to help.
I wondered why? What brought her there? Did she have a family member who was a junkie? Was she there for some project for school? She looked young enough that she could still be in college. My mind raced with all the possibilities of what led her there. I had to know more. It was becoming an ever increasing obsession.
I’d like to think it was nothing more than making conversation but I began to quiz my customers that I knew frequented Safe Works. Al wasn’t much help. In his ramblings all he would say was the angel was there. Hell, I knew that already.
Bree was more help. She told me that she was a noob. She said she reeked of naivety. Jasper had to keep her from giving money to some junkie in there. She didn’t think she would be able to cut it. I had a jealous twinge run through me at the thought of her and Jasper. I had to ask Bree if she thought there was anything between them. Bree laughed at me and said Jasper couldn’t tear his eyes from the tiny little friend of hers. That was interesting because from what I saw she didn’t seem to fond of Jasper.
The only other one I was able to question was Riley. All he could talk about was how hot she was. I didn’t want to hear about that from him so I shoved his bags into his hands roughly and pushed him away.
What they told me wasn’t enough. I needed to know more. Then one night after I watched her and her friend get into their car I followed them. I didn’t even think about what I was doing. It wasn’t until I was parked across the street from what I assumed to be their apartment that I realized I had a problem. I was disgusted with myself. I was essentially stalking this poor girl. I had done a lot of bad things in my life. More than I ever wanted to count, but this…this was leading nowhere good. I had to stop. I had to get this girl out of my head.
I pulled away watching out my mirror the whole time. I told myself I wouldn’t be back. This was the end. Yet deep inside I knew I was lying to myself. I would never have enough of Bella and the beauty and goodness she brought to my world.
October 3rd, 2009 - Posted in Uncategorized | |
